Vampire Academy (2014)
Summary: Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, half human/vampire, guardians of the Moroi, peaceful, mortal vampires living discretely within our world.
Australian Cinema Release Date: 7th March, 2014
Australian DVD Release Date: TBA
Country: USA, UK, Romania
Director: Mark Waters
Screenwriter: Daniel Waters, Richelle Mead (novel)
Cast: Mai Arwas (Lucy), Jackson Bews (Jered), Harry Bradshaw (Bruno), Gabriel Byrne (Victor Dashkov), Ashley Charles (Jesse), Macy Chipping (Young Rose), Zoey Deutch (Rose Hathaway), Rory Fleck-Byrne (Andre), Claire Foy (Ms. Karp), Lucy Fry (Lissa Dragomir), Sami Gayle (Mia Rinaldi), Nick Gillard (Kenneth), Edward Holcroft (Aaron), Sarah Hyland (Natalie), Danila Kozlovsky (Dimitri Belikov), Olga Kurylenko (Headmistress Kirova), Shelley Longworth (Feeder Norrine), Chris Mason (Ray), Cameron Monaghan (Mason), Bronte Norman-Terrell (Camilla), Ben Peel (Spiridion), Ryan Prescott (Nick), Joely Richardson (Queen Tatiana), Dominic Sherwood (Christian Ozera), Ramon Tikaram (Mr. Meisner), Dominique Tipper (Guardian Gabriela)
Runtime: 105 mins
OUR VAMPIRE ACADEMY REVIEWS & RATINGS:
Please check Nick’s Vampire Academy review of that is available on The Good The Bad The Ugly Film Show Ep #70
I’m sure there was a moment at some time when a production team got together to discuss turning Richelle Mead’s Vampire Academy novels into a feature film. Someone in that meeting obviously stood up and said “hey the kids all seem to like 2 Broke Girls do you reckon we could incorporate some of the sassy dialogue from that into this?” Well it may have seemed like a good idea at the time, and true it’s worked in films such as Saved and Easy A in the past but sadly screenwriter, Daniel Waters just wasn’t up to the job and as a result Vampire Academy fails in its bid to become the next Harry Potter or Twilight.
The film begins with Dhampir Rose Hathaway (Zoey Deutsch) and Lissa Dragomir (Lucy Fry) the Moroi (peaceful vampire mortal) that she is protecting being rounded up and shipped back to Vampire Academy after twelve months on the run.
While Rose and Lissa are furious at being made return to what is actually a vampire boarding school they are shown show by teachers and trainers there, including Dimitri Belikov (Danila Krozlovsky), Victor Dashkov (Gabriel Byrne) and Headmistress Kirova (Olga Kurylenko), that this was a dangerous exercise due to the fact that it appears that Lissa is very likely to become the next Vampire Queen.
As the pair try to once again fit into a school where it now seems they are very much the outcast Rose soon realises that Lissa’s life is very much in danger, something that Lissa seems very dismissive of. This spurs Rose to team up with Dimitri and Lissa’s love interest Christian Ozera (Dominic Sherwood) and try to work out who is so desperate to have the young royal all to themselves.
The biggest problems facing Vampire Academy is the fact that director Mark Waters (who is best known for delivering the big teenage hit Mean Girls) was given an absolute dog script to work with… oh and of course some pretty average acting talent as well. At times Vampire Academy does show glimpses of being the half-way decent teenage sci-fi flick it could have been but at other times it is let down by some of the worst dialogue and most clichéd moments that audiences have seen on screens since they witnessed the debacle that was Taylor Lautner’s Abduction.
There are times during this film that the dialogue is so bad that the audience bursts out into laughter at just how lame it really is. Yes this one film where the script really didn’t need editing it needed to be ripped up and thrown into a bin before another screenwriter gave it a whirl. And if Daniel Waters’ dialogue isn’t bad enough the audience also has to put up with the fact that he also didn’t know whether he wanted this film to be a serious sci-fi/fantasy film or somewhat of a comedy. Sometimes it seems that Vampire Academy looks like it is going to fit into the Harry Potter vein and then at other times it becomes so cheesy it almost feels like you are re-watching Vampires Suck.
Then there is the acting which can largely described as downright atrocious. It is obvious that the likes of Lucy Fry and Danila Kozlovsky were hired because of their looks rather then their acting abilities because there are times during the film when they both make the cast of The Young And The Restless look like Oscar winners. Even poor Olga Kurylenko and Gabriel Byrne trip up on the script that leaves them with little more to do than just be working clichés… surely some Razzie nominations must be headed their way. In fact the only cast member of Vampire Academy that can hold her head high is Zoey Deutsch. The young actress, who most would know for her appearance in Beautiful Creatures puts in a good acting performance in which she seems to call upon the acting talents of Kat Dennings and Eliza Dushku and actually announces herself as an actress who hopefully has a future ahead of her.
From it’s clichéd poorly written script to the fact that it seems to borrowed little things from every vampire television show or movie from the last twenty years Vampire Academy is one film that seemed to be doomed from the moment its screenwriter put pen to paper.
Average Subculture Rating (out of 5):
Other Subculture Media Reviews of ‘Vampire Academy′: Please check The Good The Bad The Ugly Film Show Ep #70 for our full Vampire Academy review.